Is Bullying a Problem?

Recently, I read an article that was published in the New York Times titled "Defining Bullying Down" written by Emily Bazelon. I was supposed to analyze the article for a pre-test in one of my college courses. I read through about half of it, trying to keep tears from escaping my eyes. I felt this pain in my chest and I felt as though I couldn't breathe. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I stood up, my paper empty and went to the bathroom. This article is, in my opinion, absurd.

This article starts off by talking about the death of two children Bailey O'Neill and Amanda Todd. The article then talks about the word bullying and says, "The word is being overused — expanding, accordionlike, to encompass both appalling violence or harassment and a few mean words." (Bazelon).

Yes, it is a big word. Yes, it covers a lot of different forms of the word "bullying" , but that is just the thing. In my mind, bullying is bullying. Let me use a scenario. 

 

A kid walks up to someone and says, "I hate you." 

 

For someone like me, the words I, hate, and you mean something, but I can brush it off. I may or may not consider this bullying, depending on who it is and why they are saying it. But for someone who is constantly torn down by his lack of self-esteem and self confidence, any little thing can hurt to the point where he would consider suicide. It doesn't have to be just suicidal. It's just tearing someone down to the point where they think they are worthless. This would be bullying. If someone is torn down by someone else to the point they consider ending their own lives, that is bullying. If someone is torn down by another human being, that is bullying.

The kid said the same words in the same order to two different people. The main point is that you make your own definition of bullying. If you think it's bullying, if you feel hurt by what the person says, it could be bullying. 

 

According to Bazelon, "The word is being overused.... to encompass both appalling violence or harassment and a few mean words." 

Well, I hate you is a few words, isn't it? Bullying is defined by ones past and experiences. A person may consider something bullying that another person may not. It's all based on ones perspective and the way they feel.


Bazelon also says, " There are concrete strategies that can succeed in addressing it — and they all begin with shifting the social norm so that bullying moves from being shrugged off to being treated as unacceptable. But we can’t do that if we believe, and tell our children, that it’s everywhere." 

That first part I agree with. If we shift the norm to make bullying unacceptable then bullying won't be such a big issue. But I can tell you also that it is everywhere. I limp. People stare, mouths wide open, and usually stop walking to do a double take or make me the butt of one of their awful jokes. That is a form of bullying. It makes me feel terrible about myself over time and makes me feel like a mistake. Bullying isn't just verbal, physical, or cyber. You don't need to talk to bully someone. Your facial expressions can be used as a form of bullying, just like your actions, physical or verbal. I know it's everywhere. It happens at the supermarket, Walmart, the park, and even at my orthopedic doctor office (who does all the surgeries on my legs). 

Bullying can be defined but can be argued because each person is different. What one person says is bullying, may not be considered bullying to another. 


No matter the definition, bullying needs to be stopped.


If you would like to read the article here is the link: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/12/opinion/defining-bullying-down.html?_r=0


*All the quotations came directly from Emily Bazelon's article "Defining Bullying Down" I did not write anything in quotations and I am not claiming her article as my own.*

 

Welcome to the Speak Up Speak Out Blog!

Welcome!
My name is Arianna and I have a confession to make. I was bullied. In fact, I'm bullied every day.

Let me tell you part of my story so you understand. I was born in a little town in Russia named Sobinka. My birthmother had me on the way to the hospital in a taxi. I was ten weeks early. The nurses maybe weren't trained for this kind of thing actually happening so they may have struggled getting the incubator working and getting me hooked up to it. I'm not really sure, but that is what I've been told. It's probably true. I was adopted by my American parents when I was five months old. When we got back to the states, I was immediately diagnosed with cerebral palsy. Cerebral palsy is caused when a baby is born so prematurely that their lungs aren't fully developed. This causes a chain reaction. Lungs don't function, baby can't breathe. The baby has a stroke because there is not enough oxygen getting to the brain. Parts of the brain get damaged or die and the baby ends up having cerebral palsy or CP for short. That is what happened to me. In my case, my left side of my brain (the right side of my body) was damaged. When you see me, I limp on my right side.  I drag my foot a little and my foot turns slightly inward. I'm lucky because I've seen some other kids with CP and they're wheelchair bound for the rest of their lives. I'm one of the lucky ones and I'm very thankful for that.

Being disabled, heck, being different makes me one hell of a target to bullies. It's not that I'm weak or just shrivel up and cry when people say things or stare at me. I'm witty and I'm great at instant comebacks. But what I've learned is bullies don't care. They find something wrong with their victim and latch onto it like a parasite and it seems like they will never leave the victim alone. And to be honest, there is no one way to deal with a bully that works every time on every bully. Why? Because each bully is different. They all do damage, but each one is unique. That's what made it terrifying for me. That's why 90 percent of teens don't speak up. The kid at school threatened to kill me. I didn't want to tell my parents because I had a feeling that if I told them they would talk to the principal and he  would give my bully in school suspension, but within a couple days, a week tops, I would be back at the bully's mercy and he would do a lot worse than spit insults at me.

The point is: Bullying is terrifying because you feel like you always lose. You feel like nothing works and it makes you scared. No matter how had to pray for him to go away, he won't. You feel scared. You feel alone.

The point of this blog is an escape for people who are being bullied. It's not just for victims of bullying, but parents too because it can be scary for them too. When I was being bullied, I felt like I could talk to no one. The school wouldn't listen. The teachers didn't believe me. I had nowhere to turn. I just wanted someone there that could say, "I've been there. It will be okay. Just hold on for a little longer. It will be okay." I didn't have someone. That's why I created this blog. I know how it feels to not want to go to school. When you do, you feel a knot in your stomache and you just want to throw up because you feel hopeless. This blog is an outlet for everyone.  Come here and share your stories. Come for help and to ask questions. Come here for escape.

Also, I know how scary it is to speak up. It's is absolutely and utterly terrifying. It is okay if you are scared to say something to someone. I was too. It is okay if you don't want to say anything, but maybe this blog will help you find your voice. I want to help kids that are too scared to realize there are people out there wanting to help. Maybe you'll find your voice if you've lost it. Hopefully, this blog will make people realize that speaking up against bullying is hard, but it is possible. It's not easy, but it's possible. And sometimes all you need is a little hope to get you through tough times.

I hope you like this blog and come back often. I hope it helps you. Leave comments or message me if you have anything you would like talk to me about. If you have  any suggestions or would like to see something written about that I have not covered, let me know! Share with your friends.  Thank you so much!
Arianna

And also, remember that being different is not a bad thing. I think being different makes you, you, and you shouldn't change that for anyone:) You're all beautiful.